last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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