Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
