Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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