You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
