Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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