She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
