He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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