I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i love accidental penises.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
