hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
