she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
