Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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