I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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