I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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