just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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