before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
