Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
