if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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