I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
