you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
