I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
