He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
