I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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