You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
