..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
