i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
