the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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