I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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