vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
