i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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