Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
