but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
