Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
