normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
