you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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