Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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