My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
