you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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