I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
