But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
