farters have to be the big spoon...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's blow job season.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
