she was so not down for the gang bang
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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