If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
