see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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