What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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