I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
