fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
