Well apparently he's into motor boating.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
