Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
