i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
