Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dear god my vagina.
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