If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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